some priceless moments

#Sekarang ,, jogja hujan rintik,, malam,, pukul 10
backsound: lagu "Dua Sejoli" - Dewa 19
            
harusnya nugas sh buat outlen thesis dan semacamnya
but somehow, typing some scattered thought in my mind push me to write it down :)

aku merasa momen paling useless, dan tak berguna ada mada sekitaran mid Mei  hingga awal Agustus
Pengangguran baru, masih di lingkungan lama : malang, kampus dan semuanya
bapak ingin aku asdos, sekolah lagi dan dosen,,
sementara aku: yah still naggling defining my own dream and wonder that my curiosity and idealism is enough
being a reporter, civil servants, and many alternative , but one thought that : i never dreamt to study again, continued my master degree

 -- like now--

suasana psikologis ku juga hampa, antara meyakini diri untuk segera keluar dari realitas dan bersikap kuat , seperti biasa nya, dan persaan hampa tentang diriku sendiri
But, somehow God have His own plan which never expected by anyone
His destiny encountered me to two persons that at least help me deepening my mind and soul

the first person is the young lad, 2 years younger than me
bright eyes, friendly smile which by his presence
he gave me some spirit that live is never be so dull, monochromatic,
yes those 2 years really really shaped me, it happen when you really really in love with someone,
gave your worlds, time, tears and actually you'll be really really wounded
 so young clad, with his own problem, brilliant thought  ad I understand that..
somehow we destined to be met, and should learn something priceless lesson about it
maybe we are in the same vacant, emptyness mind, which somehow trapped in our young age
I enjoyed watching movie with him, go sneaked at night from his mother,, it such somehow awaked my childish memories
it seems sound awkward, but it really happen to me when I'm supposed to be mature in motherly and sisterly ways for more than 2 years in society
I understand that life is too sort if only filled with regret... and maybe he find some sisterly-feeling or something like that, when his life seems too cold, lonely, and need a recognition to be seen as an early-adult personal..
do we wrong? in such circumstancess i never have a will to call it right or wrong
i understand my Allah more from his cross sign as pray when we eat together
it seems that His massage go down to me through him, that God never let His people alone
so we should always preserve our good relationship with Him regardless our condition
somehow, we understand that our feeling must be over silently, without has a chance to talk about it
Good luck for you, may Allah send his Blessed to you to fulfill your dream. The last time I saw him, I understand it must be ended as a good memories

the second, is it you?? the one meet as early as i entered college
as an odd senior, you seems never pay attention to something or someone that you think not so much need your attention
your out of the box attitude, word and character sometimes make me feel non-sense and though : what do you exactly one
being an unpredictable person is your slogan and for more than 5 years i never pay much atttention to you
and than the days come when we maybe purposely or not entwinted together
debating arguments, ideas and even some moments that I even wonder what such a person inside in here
you both critisized me and guard me, taught me in your constructive critism
to be near you mean I'm free to be my own self, nagling with my childish attitude but in the same thime creating a conversation that concluded us as : yes "we are getting mature now"
we share our vacant moment together, which is mean happens rarely
no romantic dinner just eat some snacks in street installemnt and spend our time untul 2 a.m
both understand our complex decision making about our own life, planning a just begin life, with all idealism, mixing with realities we should consider
bringing laugh and joke on heavy matters, that we both know we should face it no matter what
some coincidental moment, your gesture when leading an Isya' prayer, one by one wondering me
am I in love again? should it begin again?

and suddenly you go there, the most southern-east past of uor nation,
involving in some development project, without never have a time to discuss and why
leaving me without any news, and some your awkward attitude that lately i'm still compensate it
2 months spend, and you actually comeback give me some news about you
usual joke, sarcasm talk, happen again in my smartphone, but I understand we change to be more mature person
just a priceless Friday and Saturday, no more than 3 weeks a once,
always stay in touch with me when spare time is available
what is our fate tomorrow? would we be destined to be together?
I dunno dear, but I admit that those feeling blossom again, with every consequences should bear
i have no other option except whispering to God
ask the best path for us..
and I hope the time, in its own patch shaping us to the best part of us
who knows, we're lucky enough to spend our remaining life together?
Stay though, I hope Allah give His Blessing and peace to you
Only in God, we always trust

Relatif? kenapa tidak

aih,, di sini  bukan relativism sebagai ideologi yang kompleks dan saya belum paham,, ahahhaha
tapi di sini, mau nggak mau atau memang saking longgarnya kuliah (ceileh,, paper bro!) nggak sengaja bener ada satu topik yang menarik dan tengiang-ngiang di kepala 1-2 hari ini : Relatif

Kebetulan 1
Ada postingan dari Hipwee , postingan agak lama sih yang saya buka lagi, sekilas tentang "inside opinion" dari dunia seputar Hubungan Internasional. aih semacam rendezvouz gitu,, semacam : hey world, we're IR and thanks you've understood us!" ahahaha tentang suka duka kenyataan pahit yang kadang konyol (bittersweet gituu), cita-cita yang membumbung soal korps diplomatik dan kawan-kawan realitas paper yang mencekik,, stigma daaan akhirnya pemahaman : nggak ada yang perlu disesali jadi penstudi HI,, no matter your day now. Bukan chauvinistis jurusan sih, tapi lebih pada sebuah motivasi yang kocak :p

Kebetulan 2
Ada teman yang berkomentar pada suatu kasus yang berhubungan dengan bidang studi saya, yang intinya mengkaitkan antara janji kampanye yang meleset (belum di tepati seperti saat kampanye), dan substansi dari janji itu sendiri yaitu komitmen unutk mengakui Hamas. Jadi mas temenku ini mempertanyakan kenapa Hamas ga diakui dan kaitannya (menurut dia)  membuat Indonesia ga berperan dalam proses pengakuan kemerdekaan Palestina. Nah lho, somehow 2 peristiwa ini sepertinya terkait, buty eits I argued that actually they stand on difference position :p

Kaalo gaya di kelas tuh gini analisisisnya (sok sok an presentasi di depan Pak Muhadi) :
Hamas itu organisasi politik, semacam fraksi atau ormas, bukan institusi negara, tapi bagian dari negara. Tentu,  eksistensinya itu menimbulkan pro dan kontra , perilaku Hamas yang keras pada Israel (tanpa bermaksud membenarkan pula tindakan Israel) tidak selamanya positif lho.Sehingga munkin ini yang menjadi pertimbangan Pemerintah urung mengakui Hamas. Lagipula  konteksnya masih abu-abu ketika meninjau  sebuah keharusan bahwa negara mengakui organisasi yang secara tingkatan analisis berada dalam kedaulatan negara (Pemerintah Palestina).  Ada beberapa negara yang mengecapnya sebagai teroris. Sedangkan dalam negara Palestina sendiri selain Hamas, ada Fatah yang lebih fleksibel dalam perundingan dan diplomas dan menjadi faksi pemimpin pos-pos eksekutif negara. Hamas memang Palestina, tapi Palestina bukan cuma Hamas. ini yang saya kira belum dipahami masyarakat. dalam negara Palestina sendiri usaha pengakuan kedaulatan negaranya sudah banyak dilakukan. negara dalam konteks hukum internasional secara de facto harus memiliki  warga dan teritorial sedangkan secara de jure adalah adanya pengakuan dari negara lain (mohon maaf bila ada kesalahan intrepretasi). That's the point, Indonesia sudah berperan disitu., antara lain: pengakuan kedaulatan dalam bentuk saling tukar menukar duta/ konsul, aktif menyuarakan mediasi meskipun tidak bisa menjadi mediator Israel-Paestina. Selain dalam PBB, pada forum internasional lain seperti OKI Indonesia sudah menunjukkan posisinya bahwa keberadaan Palestina selaras dengan politik luar negeri Indonesia. Ada banyak hal yang dilakukuan RI walaupun masih belum cukup. Kalau Indonesia memutuskan untuk belum mengakui Hamas, jika dikaitkan dengan komitmen kampanye dan semangat RI mendukung kemerdekaan palestina sepertinya tidak sinkron. Dukungan kemerdekaan tidak serta merta dicerminkan dengan pengakuan eksistensi aktor sub negara. Tentunya berbeda lagi jika dikaitkan dengan janji kampanye.

** kalo dikaitin dengan kebetulan no 1 sih iya: Pemikiran kami anak HI dilatih unutk holistik dan divergen sekaligus. Nothing is pure black and white for us,, bahkan pada konflik yang bahkan telah disebutkan dalam al Quran ini. and that's why IR is not just a mere academical perspective, but somehow its reflect our persperctive in daily life. dan semakin bisa pahami cara pikir orang. temen saya anak sipil dan keahliannya bukan di ranah ini saya harus pahami pola pikirnya. ilmu terlalu luas untuk dipahami sendiri bukan. dan pada konteks tertentu yang saling berkelindan, kebenaran yang diteropong dari fakta itu relatif. so, why not to start thinking relatively when faced the daily life? :))

difference

setelah berabad abad nggak nulis blog,, hahaha,,
here i am come back,, dengn numpang wifi di perpus orang,, ceilehh
 baca tulisan terakhir geli juga,, ababil banget kesannya,, haha iya lah 2011,, 3 tahun lalu non,,,

but, that's life indeed.. sometimes you need to look back, make pece with them and started creating your future...
purity,, optimism, young and naive,,  mungkin itu beberapa kesan yang bisa terbaca dari coretan blog ku,,, and now everything seems different..  ah ya,  dulu mungkin khas romantisme kuliah strata 1, idealisme lah, eksistensi lah,, but now dude, you'll face more complex, greyish area of your mind and life,,.. dan oh sempat-sempatnya nulis blog ditengah lautan tugas paskasarjana yang ih waw..
that's my life, choice and everything,, yak ketimbang nulis di sosmed jugak (2011 belum terlalu booming sih),, malah nanti jadi mispersepsi,, males ah,,, hahaa,,

tadi iseng buka FB, ada tautan di akun teman yang lewat di timeline tentang kristenisasi dalam acara car free day di jakarta. entah, aku juga tak ada niat membukanya,, tapi dari kome
n-komen yang sempat dibuka oh rasanya seperti gabungan dari deja vu, dan perasaan terasing entang oleh apa. ada satu komentar yang berusaha menengahi yang menarik bagi saya,, teringat twitter di salah satu akun anonim yang kira-kira seperti  ini : "  islamisasi bolehlah, namun kristenisasi jangan". saya bukan liberal, juga bukan konservatif atau apa,, saya awam dan mendapat pelajaran agama layaknya anak-anak lain di sekolah negeri. namun sekarang mungkin dalam fase melihat mengkritisi dan memahami teks yang ada di realitas keseharian saya.  saya merasa seperti jika pembicaraan sepperti itu justru mengiris hati saya sebaga seorang muslim,. entah apakah misi itu salah atau saya yang salah, tapi saya yakin kita bersaudara,,, malah dengan mengenal dekat teman teman atau bahkan kerabat yang berbeda agama saya merasa seperti berdiaolg denganNya sendiri.

apakah segala klaim, penyesatan dan semuanya itu memang membela agama saya. siapakah yang sebenarnya di bela? akidah mungkin? bagi saya kok tidak seperti itu. paman, bibi, dan sepupu sepupu tiap minggu mengunjungi gereja, namun bapak dan keluarga justru ke masjid, tapi realitanya lebih dari itu. jadi bagi saya pembicaraan itu tidak saja sensitif tapi juga kontemplatif. that just my private opinion, and not intended to violent other people perspective. Tuhanku membuat agama menjadi bervariasi bukan tanpa sebab kan? :)

ya sudah ;)

aku mgkin bagi sebagian org dan (sebagian diriku sendiri) bukan organisatoris yang baik

yang terlalu khawatir, rigid atau apalah

aku menyadari aku berada di bayang-bayang

jika di organisasi

aku terlalu idealis sekaligus rapuh

sehingga terombangambing g karuan terkadang

gapapa...

pkerjaan yang aku sadar bener2 enjoi mmg g jaoh2 dari akdemik, riset, atau diskusi kecil

yang g lepas dari buku ;p

aku mencintai smua ini

aku adalah aku yang kemarin, sekarang dan nanti

namun kau tau sobat,

impianku mgkin terdengar konyol dan nonsens bagi beberapa dari kalian:

jadi ibu rumah tangga

ahahaha

setinggi apapun karirku sekarang

seluarbiasa impian q yang akan ku raih kelak

jika ditanya, aku akan ttp kembali ke peraduanku

ke anak2 ku

di rumah

aku memang tidak berkesempatan memiliki ibu yang bisa penuh mencurahkan diri ke anak-anaknya

oleh karena itu, tidak akan ku sia-siakan jika kesempatan itu datang

sekarang wktunya aku melesat

yha, aku ttap di dunia ku kok nanti

menulis itu dunia ku

mengajar, berhubungan dg orang banyak..itulah angan skaligus jalan stapak yg kujalani

bukan power, otoritas, atau pengakuan lagi yang kudambakan saat itu

bahkan skarangpun aku tak terlalu nyaman dengan 3 hal itu

dan pelan2 akan kucba menjaga jarak dengannya

serpih

lebih tapakkan kaki mu di sana , sayang

agar kamu lebih yakin dan sekaligus

mensyukuri apa yang telah dititipkanNya untuk kamu

ttep jalan. dan teruslah melangkah

kau memang bukan yang paling sempurna,

menawan, dan memikat semua orang

kau sudah paham bukan dari dulu

kau terlihat leras, dingin, tapi juga sedih'

tak apa, jika mmg itu jalanmu

kau tak kan bisa menjadi org lain

sekuat apapun keinginanmu

menjadi seperti mereka

rengkuh mimpi mu.

atau setidaknya tersenyumlah

pada harapanmu sendiri

di penghujung tahun nanti

ingatlah saat2 ini

tersenyumlah

di tengah kembang api yang terus menderu2 itu

atau di malam yang sepi

seperti sekarang ini

harapan mu untuknya?

hhmm, tak ada yang bs memprediksi

dan kau pun tak harus mewujudkannya dalam kata

karna kadang

ada sesuatu yang lebih baik terwujud lewat jalan lain

bersyukurlah,,

kau mampu merasakan ini

beribu-ribu orang di sana

yang hatinya dingin, kosong bagai rongga

tak berkesempatan mencecapnya

pandanglah ia sepuasmu

tertawalah bersamanya

ingat setiap kata-kata nya

cium udara disekitarnya yang manis

selagi kau mampu- selagi kau bisa

yoo....

aku ttp di sini og...

ttp stay di sebelahmu....

emboh gmana nti sterusnya...

mmg y sperti inilah karakterku...

mgkn qm y g paham...y ndakpapa kok... aku juga bukan berarti paham 100% sama karakterku

aku..

memang kelihatan diem, tanpa emosi...lebih tepatnya mgknin SEMACAM menyembunyikan

tapi jgn lupa aku keras orangnya...keras atau tegas...kurang tau aku yang mana...

mmg kenyataannya ak gbs marah di kamu

sebenci apapun...ak gbs marah...dan emamng aku g pingin marah :-D

mgkn sekarang kamu ngrasa ada sesuatu yang aneh...kamu ngrasa ada sesuatu , yang berasa getir mungkin

gpp...y memang getir kok...ndak bisa bohong aku,.....aku paham dan mengerti posisi kita

tapi juga g bisa selamanya...kadang2 ya memang kita harus bersikap seperti ini...sakit??...ancen

dan skrang tambah nyadar bahwa mmg qt gbsa maksa orang untuk paham

di situasi seperti ini juga terlihat kok...

wajah sebenarnya dari kita semua

g ada yang hitam absolut atau putih sempurna....

smuanya abu-abu...

dan memang seperti itulah manusia....

aku g akan menyalahkan para pengurus yang...

ndak..

cz mereka juga bukan orang yang lebih tinggi dari kita semua...

kita semua sama kondisinya...belajar

jujur aku kangen, dulu

saat2 aku ya mengenal kamu dari sisi formalmu

kamu juga kenal aku juga dari sisi formalku >,<

kerja sampek malem...ayog....g beban samasekali aku...

beban di fisik mgkin, karna capek...tapi mental nggak....

aku g perlu tau siapa kamu, g perlu tahu sikap kamu hadapi konflik ni semua

ga perlu...

dulu aku ahanya perlu kenal kamu sebagai kamu yang formal....

g tau kenapa

pas waktu itu smuanya yang ku yakini sebagai kehidupan yang "should have done"...

hilang...

aku g pernah sama lagi...

beda....tambah sakit mungkin ia...tapi jangan lupa juga tambah senyum

aku masi inget leluconmu yang garing dan mekso

banyak hal yang menyadarkan....

y wes lah ;-)

Where we are: Globalization and National’s Identity

First, i write this article for my Globalization's subject, last essay before Final Exam. Leave comment please, to increase my writing skills..thanks :)

Globalization and National’s Identity

Globalization, if we view it from social-culture’s perspective will be very interested to discuss. Because, from this perspective it will be much easier to observe and analyze the phenomenons. Social Culture’s phenomenon is obviously, everyone not only see and know it but also discuss it in daily life. Its reflect directly on what people have talked about and what kind of action which they do as a respond of it. That’s why I love and interested to stay and want to observe deeper a social phenomenon from this aspect. ble

As we know, on this end of 2010 our “trending topics” was AFF Champhionship. On the final match, Indonesia should meet her closest neighbour on this South-East Asia Regional, Malaysia. Of course this AFF’s final match has predicted to create high tension opinion among each citizen and we can found there was an opinion war among these two countries on several sites on internet. Some of them wrote about sportivity and optimism that sport can increase the two finalists relationship especially appreciated to their National Team who successed to increase it performance on previous match. But the others also talked about negative matters as a respond of how unstable was Indonesia-Malaysia’s relationship in this following years. Each countries shared the culture, national resources and even sea and ocean...we shared together. Of course these factor also playing significant role on these countries billateral relationship added by differences on social culture, economy and political condition. Public maybe focused on Indonesian Migrant Workers (Tenaga Kerja Indonesia abbreviated as TKI)’s fate who often exposed in media are treated brutally by their Malaysian master, including unjustice system who trapped them in this sircumstances; public of course still remembered on case such as Batik, Reog, Angklung, Rasa Sayange Song, etc. I do not write about the final score and some incident around it on this article. Its just out of my purpose to write about it.

This phenomenon raised question: what really happen in Indonesia and Malaysia’s relationship if we are correlate it with this global era and national identity. Both Indonesia and Malaysia found theirselves united as Melayu. Although they often involve in debatable problem such as teritority, actually they also realize it. Share the same identity can create negative impact since society in both of these countries find difficulties to identify clearly who is the real owner of their cultures. Globalization as seen as an event, no matter from where perspectives we start to view, has also shaped the dynamization of Indonesia and Malaysia’s billateral relationship. This effect has already been felt by us like: the emergence of non state actors, developing in IT’s. States no longer have so powerful authority to control their citizen activities on foreign countries. For example : nor Indonesia and Malaysia can exactly controlled their people’s activities, interaction among people now are more complex than if we compare it with the previous decade. A time when state’s border only distinguished teritorial and “physical” sovereignity. No more.

Then, where is our identity as Indonesia? Although we are united as Malay race with Malaysia, as a nation it will be still have diffenences. But, where these differences stand, and what kind of diffenences whom distinguised us from them? We has different dialects, different sub-cultures diversity. I am not intended to expose these differences on negative aim. But I wonder, a Javanese will refused if he/ she are identified as Melayu. I guess he/ she will said : ”No, thanks. I am a Javanese not Melayu.” Even that he/she realize and know that Javanese as a tribe are a part of Melayu race. Should we defend our identity as well as posible until the last of our blood, to prove it that we are different from Malaysia?

It will be better if we keep this question and try to re-define again: what is our problem with Malaysia? Are we grudging about claims that they have made for their tourism’s interest? Or, actually we find difficulties to understand our own identity and local wisdoms in this global era? Is there anyone who are able to explain simply our nation identity and its implementation on daily life, so we can easily said : o yeah, this is actually the real characteristic of my country!” Let’s go flashback to see through ourselves....this kind of identity has already taught to as (as I am a Javanese, I take this example from my own experience) from elementary school such as a thought than Indonesian are friendly people with gemah ripah loh jinawi tata tentrem kerta raharja (Java’s or nusantara which always fertile and properous)’s lands, and has andap asor (friendly attitude wich alwas put respect to each other we meet) and menang tanpa ngasorake (win a “competition” without beating our rivals)’s philosophy. Come back again...Have we already implemented all of these mores and values, from whom our ancestral leave, well? Why we seemed look have unproper attitude when we faced problem that our neighbourhood state are take out “our culture”? Where was our attention to these heritages (both tangible and intangible such as local wisdoms, mores, etc) before the other country claimed them as their own? What can we do at least to show to International Society our truly positive character when we faced a situation like this?

I try to offer this: let’s recognize again our identity from our own culture. As a nation we are blessed with wonderful cultural difersity from Aceh in West until Papua in East. All of them are our duty and right all at once to maintainance it so our children will able to enjoy it too. Knowing our culture, it does not mean that we must involved our self so deeply on there, because contribution is not only defined as being the actor. Something that missing in here is the contribution in role and initiative. At least, from know, we started to be more concern and knowing them. We can repackaging our culture depends on our favourite ways and media like animation, graphic design, poem, music, paintings etc. Let’s combine them with global unsure that we can easity get now. I was impressed by Iranian’s youth who composed a rap song which inspired from their Persian classical epos by Firdausi (National Geograpic Indonesia August 2008).

Culture is not a thing we left it, because we think that all of them are out of date and uncompatible to our modern lifestyle. If we start to re-knowing again our own culture, I belive slow but sure we will find important yet priceless messages and reflection about what is IndonesiaI. We can learn from them, for example Angklung and Gamelan taught us about harmonyty and the power of collectivism. So do Mahabarata epos, Pendet dance, process making of batik, ...they only a sample from the whole population of Indonesia diversity of cultures. Each of them contain thousand of priceless local wisdoms. Our ancestor never leave them all to us without any meaning. These norms have already passed out time, and it proven that their wisodoms are timeless. Globalization is not a barrier to us not only maintenance but also to introduce our cultures to International Society. We will never neglect todays life, but if we can take all the meaning of this. I believe it will help us when we need to show to our neighbourhood in this whole world about truly Indonesia. So we can proudly say Yes, this is Indonesia, and I proud to be part of her. I hope.