a scattered dream, a new defining point

oh God, what time is it now? what kind of date??
yeah, time is surprisngly passed.. day bay day, months and a year ..
I know  those kind of days will be passed, my wretched day in those wicked time is actually gone by now.
and well,, suddenly I cant sleep, I cant think  and I think I just feel that something trapped me has recluctanly gone : those routine activities

it kill me yes, actually I'm not  mind with my daily routine as a post graduate student, but the peers is disgusting.
Ah well i don't want to talk about it anymore because no use of it,..
after a few nights I cant do anything I realize on this mid night that I found my self again in here, outside the routine activities, the targets etc.. who am I, what I dreamt for and fight for, and the ultimate is : describing my fear..
yes fear, this feeling is occupied me for several days, leaving my mind a new phase of me.
I know the bad thing was end, and this is just about me, how does my way to walk on it, to face it wee
those two people , in a tiniest amount is my resemblances.. i realized what is the result , no matter what, the key point is Process . I have to enjoyed it, be friend with my fear because no live can be surpassed without facing problem, including let new people joining our life again. no matter what they intended to me, the point is I have to settle my self first. without it there's no relationship will be better. yes, I', quite traumatized by previous part of my live..

I dunno, what will happen to me next day, my future,, my fate my dream,, it seems they scattered in vague , standing in midst... but this tiny time in this middle of night give me a point that it's time to get up again dear. your world, your future is waiting for you and I hope it's enough as a remember that whatever problem which come to you, belief that it shape and construct you know. more or less :  that is life